Part of what I did as a gynecologist was to give patients of all ages permission to be sexual. I counseled patients in sexless marriages that self-stimulation was not only normal but stress relieving and healthy. I reassured older patients with potential new partners that it was normal to become sexually active after many years of widowhood or divorce.
More often than you might think, patients over 50 would ask me about oral stimulation. Was it normal, was it common, was it OK? My answer was always yes, yes, and yes, as long as it was not outside their individual comfort zone.
I reassured them that oral sex was not only normal but that it alleviated many problems of sex after 50:
- Vaginal dryness
- Erectile dysfunction
- Mobility limited by arthritis, painful knees and back aches
Oral sex provides the same whole-body caressing and pleasuring that is part of lovemaking, something that is positive and possible to lovers of all ages. Partners can give and get pleasure in ways that are not possible with vaginal intercourse.
Only 25% of women orgasm with vaginal intercourse; direct oral clitoral stimulation is more likely to bring them to orgasm. Erectile dysfunction is more common after 50. Oral sex can provide men with great pleasure, even if the penis is not fully erect. It also relieves the pressure to perform and the fear of failure.
Is oral sex for you? That is something only you and your partner can answer. When vaginal intercourse is not possible, oral sex is a normal, healthy path to mutual pleasure. Something you had doubts about might even be the best sex you have ever had.
