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Sexual activity, solo or partnered, is a vital part of healthy aging. Orgasms are amazingly effective in reducing anxiety and depression and increasing your sense of well-being. Sex toys for older women are of great help for women to achieve orgasms.
However, orgasms are harder for women to reach after menopause due to reduced pelvic blood flow and less sensitivity. Because of this, older women may need prolonged manual stimulation—yet arthritic fingers and wrists may tire. Stamina may be reduced. Sexual aids (sex toys) for older women can help.
Find out why more and more senior women are discovering the benefits of sex toys, and how to choose one.
What are some of the sexual challenges older women face?
Sexual dysfunction reportedly affects up to 40% of American women. It is not uncommon for women in all age groups, but more common for those 50 and older.
There are four categories of sexual dysfunction for women:
- lack of desire
- painful sex
- lack of arousal (inability to obtain or maintain sexual excitement)
- lack of orgasm (difficulty, delay, or absence of orgasm in spite of arousal)
Let’s focus on the last two categories. What is the primary cause of problems with arousal and orgasm? It is decreased blood flow to the genitals, for which there are many reasons:
- menopause
- heart disease
- hypertension
- diabetes
- abnormal levels of cholesterol
- pelvic trauma
- pelvic surgery
- difficult childbirth
- smoking
How can these problems be treated? First of all, appropriate medical attention from your doctor. After which, for many women, sexual dysfunction can be improved with mechanical devices, aka sexual aids or adult toys.
These devices have entered the social mainstream to help with sexual arousal, orgasmic disorders, and to enhance female sexual response. Serious academic work is being done to investigate the effectiveness of these devices.
How can sex toys for older women (such as vibrators) help?
Vibrators increase blood flow to the pelvis and provide the prolonged clitoral stimulation many women need for arousal and orgasm. Many older women also require more intense stimulation due to less sensitivity, which vibrators can deliver. They can be used solo or with a partner.
We use hearing aids to maintain our ability to hear, glasses to maintain our visual acuity, pacemakers to maintain heart function, and canes to walk with more stability. More and more seniors also use sex aids to maintain their sexual intimacy.
If you don’t fold or unfold as easily as you once did, if your hands and fingers are affected by arthritis, or if your stamina is shortened by age or chronic illness, sex toys are credible aids to achieve orgasm and enjoy all of its positive benefits.
What are the different types of sexual aids/sex toys for women? How are they used?
There are three main types of adult toys for women: vibrators, dildos, and clitoral suction devices. All can be used with a partner or solo. We’ll provide quality examples of each type.
Vibrators
Vibrators do just that—they vibrate! They are sometimes called massagers or stimulators. They come in several varieties:
Bullet Vibrators
Bullet vibrators are small—about the size of a finger. They are designed for pinpoint stimulation and can be used by any gender on the clitoris, nipples, and other external erogenous zones. Most are very simple to use, with a single button that cycles through different vibration intensities and patterns.
Bullet vibrators range from inexpensive models powered by watch batteries to rechargeable models that pack a lot of power into their small size. We recommend the latter as they produce stronger vibrations and don’t require you to fiddle with tiny batteries. The We-Vibe Tango is an example of a very powerful, intense bullet vibrator.
Clitoral Vibrators
Clitoral vibrators are self-explanatory—they are external vibrators that stimulate the clitoris. Some bullet vibrators are also marketed as clitoral vibrators. There is a wide range of designs available. Some, like the We-Vibe Touch X, have soft curves to nestle over the clitoris and provide diffuse, rumbly vibrations, while others have a tapered tip to provide intense pinpoint stimulation. Others are wands that provide broad stimulation and can be used for massage elsewhere on the body. Experiment with the types of vibes you enjoy most!
G-spot Vibrators
G-spot vibrators are for internal use. They have a distinctive curved shape and tip that massages the front (belly side) vaginal wall when inserted. The vibrator motor is typically in the tip, rather than the base. Some G-spot vibrators simply vibrate, while others combine a thrusting, rotating, or “come here” waving motion that mimics the feeling of fingering.
Rabbit Vibrators
Rabbit vibrators are for simultaneous stimulation of the G-spot (internal) and clitoris (external). They are called “rabbit vibrators” because the clitoral stimulator is often shaped like rabbit ears. Rabbit vibrators have long been popular because they provide the combination of vaginal and clitoral stimulation many women find pleasurable.
Dildos
Dildos are phallic-shaped and are used for penetration/internal stimulation. They may look realistic or not. Some come with suction cup bases, while others are meant to be held in the hand. Some fit into a harness or special underwear for strap-on sex.
Technically, dildos do not vibrate, but you may see some internal vibrators (like G-spot vibrators) also referred to as dildos. If you see a product marketed as a dildo, you will know that it’s meant for internal use.
Clitoral Suction Devices
The purpose of these devices is to get blood flowing to the clitoris and the labia minora (the inner lips of the vulva). The extra blood flow causes the clitoris to enlarge and become extremely sensitive. The result can lead to orgasms, sometimes very strong orgasms. These devices can be used solo or with a partner.
There are two types of clitoral suction devices: clitoral pumps and clitoral suction sex toys. Both create suction around the clitoris to promote blood flow, but the mechanism is different. These devices are often confused, so let’s go into them a bit.
Clitoral Pumps
Clitoral pumps have a cup (think diaphragm ring size) that fits over the clitoris or the clitoris and labia, as well as the pump. The pumping mechanism draws blood into the area. A smaller cup can be used to concentrate on the clitoris, or a larger cup can be used if the focus is on the entire vulva. Clitoral pumps are relatively easy to use and are safe if they are used properly and not left in place too long (not longer than 10 minutes). Our article on clitoral pumps has more information.
While clitoral pumps can feel good to use on their own, they are typically used to enhance the sensation of stimulation delivered after the device is removed. This stimulation can be from a clitoral vibrator, manual stimulation, oral stimulation, or friction during penetrative sex.
Clitoral Suction Toys
Clitoral suction toys have a nozzle-like opening that fits directly over the clitoris. They use pulses of air flow and suction pressure to draw blood into the clit. The pulsing or “sucking” feeling clitoral suction toys produce is often compared to oral sex. Some of these toys also vibrate, creating a powerful combination of sensations.
Clitoral suction toys can be used preparatory to other stimulation, or they can be the whole show.
How to choose a first sex toy
Whether you buy a sex toy in an online store or a brick-and-mortar shop, be prepared to have some fun with it. You might share the experience with your partner or shop with a friend. Relax, laugh and enjoy! Don’t worry about making a mistake—just like starting an intimate relationship, it can take time to discover what you like and don’t like.
It helps to start off with something small, basic, no bells and whistles…and always made with safe materials (such as body-safe silicone) and quality construction. Some low-priced toys are made with cheap plastics that aren’t good for the vulva and vagina. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, whether it’s from store staff or using an online help feature, like our Ask the Experts feature.
Start with a clitoral vibrator—most women are more likely to orgasm from clitoral stimulation than vaginal. Penetrating toys can come later.
Sex toys can be used with a water-based lubricant for more comfort and pleasure.
What is the take-home message?
For many women, sexual dysfunction can be improved with sexual aids or adult toys. They’re also pleasurable and just a lot of fun! Don’t be afraid to try—the best sex you’ve ever had could be waiting for you.
References
Billings, K.L., “The role of mechanical devices in treating female sexual dysfunction and enhancing the female sexual response”, published in the May, 2002 issue of Word Journal of Urology
